Trump Inducted Into Rapist Hall Of Fame

NEW YORK — In a ceremony held Friday morning at Trump Tower, golf course manager Donald Trump was inducted into the Rapist Hall of Fame, and he took the opportunity to reminisce for nearly an hour about his long history of sexual misconduct.

Mr. Trump, the Republican nominee for President, was found liable in 2023 for sexually abusing advice columnist E. Jean Carroll in 1996, but has otherwise faced no consequences for his decades of bad behavior, something the Hall of Fame committee looks highly on.

The induction ceremony was attended by fellow Hall of Fame members, career assaulters, and aspiring sexual predators. Trump's acceptance speech included boastful claims about his "unmatched prowess" in groping women and his ability to "get away with anything" due to his wealth and influence.

“It’s really incredible, all the things I’ve done, and I’m still able to be here today,” Trump said before closing his remarks by ranking his dozens of accusers by “bangability.”