Pat McAfee Revealed To Be Target Of Brosylvanian Influence Campaign

INDIANAPOLIS — Officials with the U.S. Justice Department filed an indictment on Thursday alleging that Pat McAfee, the popular ESPN host and podcaster, has for years been the target of a covert influence campaign by the nation of Brosylvania to promote “Bro-positive” content.

“Brosylvanian operatives have used his platform to advance an agenda of backwards baseball caps, excessive consumption of energy drinks, and loud discussions of fantasy football leagues,” said federal prosecutor Sarah Plummer, describing just a few ways that The Pat McAfee Show unwittingly amplified Bro culture.

Investigators uncovered a complex network of shell companies and offshore accounts used to direct funds from Brosylvania's Ministry of Bro Affairs to McAfee's production company.

The agents for the Brosylvanian government allegedly funneled money to the show in the form of advertising purchases for products directly tied to Bro culture, including protein powders, oversized sunglasses, tank tops, and body spray.

Brosylvania, a small Eastern European nation known for its fraternity-like culture, has denied all allegations, calling them "totally bogus" and "not cool, bro." However, they did acknowledge in the same statement that McAfee was "totally crushing it."