Nation Just Going To Go With ‘This Shouldn’t Have Happened’

BUTLER, PA — Following the attempted assassination of golf course manager Donald Trump that caps nearly a decade of constant political violence and chaos, a disoriented and conflicted nation has decided to just go with, “this shouldn’t have happened.”

While the motivations of the shooter remain unclear, Americans on both sides of the political divide have struggled to place the incident within the context of the 2024 Presidential race, in which Trump is the Republican nominee.

“Trump has instantly become a legendary figure to the American people,” said an anonymous Republican official. “He’s now a folk hero of the conservative movement, and this has put him in a position to win the election easily. But of course, this should have never happened.”

It’s a sentiment shared by many across the political spectrum.

“The division in this country has gotten out of control,” said an anonymous Democratic strategist. “Things could have been much worse for the former President, and the world would be in a much different place if they had. But of course, this should have never happened.”

When reached for further comment, the nation declined to be interviewed for this article.