Ann Coulter Sets World Cuntiness Record

Adjudicators with the Guinness Book of World Records have confirmed that syndicated columnist and political commentator Ann Coulter set a new world record for cuntiness during the third and last presidential debate last night.

Ms. Coulter surpassed the previous record with a series of tweets that culminated in a statement in which she called President Barack Obama a “retard.”  

Guinness officials said that the accumulated cuntiness of her career, which began in the late 1990’s, became the largest of all time shortly after the controversial tweet.

Previous record holder Tucker Carlson released a statement congratulating Ms. Coulter. “It’s an honor to lose my title to Ann,” the statement read. “She’s a total cunt.”

Guinness officials are expected to rule by tomorrow on whether or not Mr. Carlson’s statement puts him back in the lead.